Things my kid made me say

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When you become a parent, your kids will have you saying all kinds of things that make little sense but that are completely hilarious.
"Some people make mean videos. I don’t want you watching them. When you’re older you can be in charge of watching mean videos."
To Cole, who came across a Mario Cart video on YouTube with some unsavory themes, 8:31am
— 2 months ago
"What are you so mad about? Because I asked you to stop hitting your sister in the face with your underwear?"
To Cole, 9:12am
— 4 months ago
"I don’t like you standing naked in the middle of my kitchen. Put on your clothes!"
To Cole, 8:26am
— 5 months ago
"Pearl, will you please stop pulling on the cats nipples and clean up your fort before your bath?"

Marcella, to her daughter Pearl

Pearl gets a big kick out of rubbing the cats bellies and looking for the nipples. So she sits there petting them and then shouts “I found a nipple!!” And then a minute goes by and again “I found a nipple!” She was doing this when she was supposed to be cleaning up her room before her bath.

— 6 months ago
"Well, it’s just not appropriate not to wear underwear to school."

To Cole, 8:14am

He is excited about his school’s pajama day.

— 6 months ago
"You don’t have to act like a crazy person because there are four beans on your dinner plate."
To Cole, 5:26pm
— 7 months ago
"Traditionally, ketchup and ravioli don’t go together."
To Olivia, 5:47pm
— 8 months ago
Sleeping clothes

I’m just saying, we don’t usually sleep in our clothes and then wear them to school the next day.

To Olivia, 7:56am

— 8 months ago
"Olivia, you can have a turn as soon as you pull your pants up."
— 10 months ago