"Traditionally, ketchup and ravioli don’t go together."
To Olivia, 5:47pm
I’m just saying, we don’t usually sleep in our clothes and then wear them to school the next day.
To Olivia, 7:56am
"Olivia, you can have a turn as soon as you pull your pants up."
"Livvy, you’re assigning yourself homework?"
Andy, to Olivia, who is 3 years old
"Are you going upstairs to get your poop on? … You need a “poop-on” coupon? … Trying to redeem my “poop-on” coupon!"
Andy, to Cole 6:55pm
"There’s definitely not earwax in your belly button."
To Cole, 8:43am
"Crying doesn’t bring the sausage back."
Andy, to Cole, 6:54pm
"Do not hit your sister in the vagina!"
"Shout out when you drop the kids off."
Welling, to Sam, who is trying to poop.
"Oh my God! Do NOT come in here!"
Heather, regarding a poop situation on the bathroom floor.