When you become a parent, your kids will have you saying all kinds of things that make little sense but that are completely hilarious.

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2 weeks ago   

"Don’t put your boogers on your blocks. That’s really gross."

- To Cole, 3:29pm

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3 weeks ago   

"Cole likes to slam dance to ‘Beauty and the Beast’."

- Andy 6:13pm

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1 month ago   

"Please don’t put your carrots on your head, Cole. That’s not what they’re for. Please don’t put carrots on your head."

- Andy, 5:47pm

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1 month ago   

"Cole, pull your pants up. Pull your pants up. Pants up, Cole. Cole, pull your pants up. Pull your pants up. You can do it. Pull up your pants!"

- 9:53am

Pee

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1 month ago   

Carla: Frieda, I’m a little mad at you for peeing on my leg.

Frieda: Yeah, well, I’M a little mad at YOU for peeing on MY leg.

(For the record, Carla didn’t actually pee on her leg.)

- April 23

Old?

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1 month ago   

Ryan: Look, there’s a white hair growing out of my arm! Does that mean I’m getting old?

Devo (his son): It means you’re dying.

-April 2

Source: devogantz

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2 months ago   

"Olivia, I have to brush your hair. You look like an escaped convict. You look like Gary Busey."

- 3:59pm

Prolonged discussion on doggies

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2 months ago   

Olivia: I want a purple doggie.

Me: I’m not going to get you a purple doggie.

O: How about a pink doggie?

Me: I’m not going to get you a pink doggie either.

O: Why?

Me: They don’t make pink or purple or purple doggies.

O: What kind of doggie does daddy like?

Me: Daddy likes grey doggies.

O: What kind of doggie does Barbara (our neighbor) like?

Me: I don’t know what kind of doggie Barbara likes.

Hot dog!

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3 months ago   

Andy: All of Cole’s adventures take place on top of a big, giant hot dog?

Me: Yep.

-7:17am

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3 months ago   

"Cole, I would prefer it if you would ask me before you go get a knife."

- 8:16am, when using the knife to cut play-doh.