"Please take the otter away from your vagina."
Alyssa to Sophia, regarding a plastic otter toy.
More on Sleeping Beauty
Cole: We can get Olivia Sleeping Beauty walkie-talkies….
Me: Sleeping Beauty doesn’t use walkie-talkies! You know, daddy, right?
Andy: I don’t know anything about that.
8:24am
Upstairs
Olivia: Hey Dad.
Andy: Hey Liv.
Olivia: Where’s Cole?
Andy: He’s upstairs crying about things that aren’t important.
9:13am
Jack!
In the car with her son, Staci reached her threshold of listening to Jack Johnson:
“Aidan, Jack … off.”
Fortunately, her father-in-law was also in the car.
Double entendre
“Stop beating your meat!”
Said to 8 year-old daughter smacking a slice of pork tenderloin with her fork during dinner.
Submitted by Crystal
Not bellybuttons
“Those are not bellybuttons. They are your nipples.”
Periodically throughout the last six months to 3 year old.
Submitted by Crystal
"Going forward, maybe you need to speak to your sister about holding up her end of the bargain so that you may have dessert and also watch a show after dinner."
6:06pm
