Things my kid made me say

"There’s no such thing as ‘Sleeping Beauty’ wrestling."

2:39pm

"No, you’re not going to have your mustard sandwich for dinner."

Andy, to Cole 5:11pm

"Livvy, get out of the way. You can’t be that close to someone who just pooped."

Regarding Cole, 6:47pm

"Meat for dessert! Meat for dessert!"

6:03pm

"No, you can not have syrup with your french fries."

5:33pm

Schedules

Me: Do you want another celery?

Cole: Let me check my schedule. Yes.

Me: Your schedule says you can have another celery?

10:58 am

"Dinner is ruined because Mommy cut up your strawberries!?"

5:33 pm

"Whoever can not touch each other the most wins!"

5:06pm

"Guys, let’s not fight about who says a color. It’s not worth fighting about."

Andy, 7:28am

Achooo

“Livvy, please don’t sneeze on my head.”

Andy, 8:24am